How to Turn a Woman On
My last post was such a hit I decided to follow up with an equally important list…How to turn a woman on! I think this will be interesting because the answers are so surprising. Not to mention easy and cheap. Hmm…reminds me a someone I used to know. Anyway, here they are in no particular order.
1. Be involved with your kids. Play with them, talk with them, love them extravagantly.
2. Pick one. Load the dishwasher. Pick up dirty clothes from the living room floor. Sweep the kitchen. Take out the trash. For a woman to see her man caring about the house, the message is loud and clear, “I care about where we live. I care about you.”.
3. Hug her often. Wrap your arms around her. Squeeze. Walk away.
4. Read to her. Trust me.
5. Every three months, write her a love letter. Okay, don’t freak out here guys. I am going to help you. This is how you do it:
Dear _____,
I just want you to know that I think you are a great mom. I see all the things you do to take care of our family and I want to thank you. It’s hard for me to always show it, but I appreciate all you do.
Your husband
6. Once a year, for your anniversary, write an “I would pick you all over again” letter. Still with me? Good. Here goes:
Dear _____,
I will never forget the way you looked when_____. You are even more beautiful now. I am the luckiest guy in the whole world. I would choose you all over again. These last ___ years have been awesome. Thanks for sharing them with me.
A love letter is the female Viagra. Try it!
7. Look her in the eyes when you are talking to her. It really doesn’t matter what you say. It’s all about how it is said.
Ok, I am out of wisdom here. Anyone want to share? (Remember to keep it PG)
Good list except for #4. Read to me? No, I don’t get that one.
Buy her chocolates, or flowers “just because”.
Take her out to dinner without the kids.
Remember anniversaries, birthdays and other important events.
That’s all I’ve got fgr now.
Amanda, it is funny to me that you had 18 ways to turn a man off but only 7 ways to turn a woman on.
I do the majority of your list, and Noreen reads to me more then I read to her. But I do read to her when there is potty talk in the book. She enjoys me writing her love notes, but as far as it being the female viagra, I just don’t see it.
You are great keep up the good work.
Love ya sis,
D.
Doug, Doug ,Doug I see that we will have to have another talk
It’s an all day thing with me. If I have felt loved all day, this is what gets me going. Kind words, understaning, thoughtful acts, small touches, is the female viagra to me. It’s a fragile thing, one wrong move and it’s all over. Poor Doug!
* Pick up heavy things
* Grunt and scratch a lot
* Cut stuff down
* Chew, dip or smoke
* Wear lots of cologne
* Grow some facial hair
I know, I know…Crystal’s one lucky gal!
Noreen - Amen Sister!
Dusty - wrong list
Doug, the reason I listed so many ways to turn a man off is simple. It’s my gift. I am a natural desire killer.
Dusty,
I think you have a gift to kill desire too! Awesome. It felt so lonely to be the only one who could turn off the opposite sex.
OK guys, listen up. This is the ultimate payoff pitch. Next Valentines day, go grab a box of those cheesy valentines cards. Pick Spiderman, Pokemon, My Little Pony or whatever you’re into and take them home. Find a secret, quiet place and write a note to your wife on each one. Do not write the same note twice! After you have every card written on, put them in their individual envelopes, write her name on each one and put them all in a nice little gift bag. Sit back and watch her pull them out one at a time and read them. That’s some major 4Play.
HEE HEE Thomas said ‘4play’ I like 5play myself.
Neat idea, but My Little Pony is something I have never found myself into…at anytime.
D.
Sorry Tom, no.
Man Susan, you’re tough. I thought Tom’s idea was cool.
I agree with Dusty, Tom’s idea is awesome. Lucky Sharla.
By the way, someone found my blog yesterday by googling “Dirty Female Blogs”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about that…
Thomas will tell you it was a much better idea than the Valentine’s Day he decided lingerie would be a nice gift to get me!!!!!
Ouch! Take it easy there.You’re gonna increase Amanda’s hits on “Dirty Female Blogs” using words like lingerie.
Oh yeah, I honked last night. I don’t know if Greg knew who it was.
Amanda,
This is totally off the subject, but if you have not already found it, I think you would enjoy reading http://www.antiquemommy.com
We used to go to church together. Her writing is funny, touching and thought provoking. Check her out.
BTW, I finally have a new post today too.